Review in\u00a0Yeah I Know It Sucks
\nby\u00a0Alex Spalding<\/p>\n
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK!?!?<\/p>\n
I SAID\u2026 ARE YOUUU\u2026 READDYYY\u2026 TO ROOOCCCKKK!?!?!<\/p>\n
\u2026 No? Good, because We Don\u2019t Rock is the next album up for review. It\u2019s from an artsy, Devo-esque Rotterdam-based group called the Wild Wild Ambient Boys, and while I can\u2019t assure you without having yet listened to it, I think I\u2019m safe in assuming that it isn\u2019t going to rock. So, no worries grouchsters.<\/p>\n
The album, according to the press release I dug around for, was inspired by porcelain flamingos, Microsoft Office, David Hamilton and memories of horses in the late 60s!<\/p>\n
If you\u2019ve got your speakers set to a reasonable volume (if it\u2019s too quiet, you\u2019re too young!!!), it\u2019s time to dip our toes into the NotRock genre!<\/p>\n
This album begins with \u2018Indoor Archeology\u2019 and for maybe just a second you\u2019re thinking it\u2019s gonna rock, but it\u2019s just your imagination and it doesn\u2019t happen. Instead, we hear footsteps and a creeping ambiance of indeterminable motivation and mood. Then there are some laughs and clippy noises\u2026<\/p>\n
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\u2026 oh, and then it\u2019s time for \u2018White Limousine \/ Scarface Interior Design\u2019. Chopped and randomized drum elements come in, and there are some really lovely guitarmonics and maybe some harp happening in the mix, glimmering sweetly in our ears like a soft dew upon a field of pixies. I\u2019m really feeling the Microsoft Office influence here, especially Excel. I could spreadsheet to this all day. Wah-warped synth sounds thrum with deep bass.<\/p>\n
In a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, these guys chose paper and won, smothering the rock in an impenetrable layer of wood pulp and glue. Then there was \u2018Sweet Oblivion And A Soft Headache Singing\u2019, which is even more blissful than the last piece, with whispery electronic flourishes above a soft filtered electro micro-groove and warm guitar. Notes ring out and are sustained, we hardly notice the beautiful silences in our quiet vale under the willow tree.<\/p>\n
Then, all of a sudden, it rocks. Just kidding. \u2018Porcelain Pink Flamengo\u2019 marries the target of its infatuation admirably, at first sounding like a stagnant pool. A massive bass bumps in periodically, followed by what almost sounded like a tiny sample of a Jarre sequence from Oxyg\u00e8ne. I\u2019m imagining a flock of porcelain flamingos as acoustic guitar enters the mix. It\u2019s joined by a second, creating odd, seductive chords, as alien spaceship noises threaten to abduct us to the skies.<\/p>\n
Since we can\u2019t rock, we\u2019ll just roll. We will gently roll down a hill in a meadow filled with daisies, while horses from the 1960s traipse and frolic around us with slight anatomical difficulty. \u20197\/8 Just Wild\u2019 is folksy and spaciously minimal. Very pretty atmosphere. Upright bass, a wind instrument, occasional expansions of the space of the mix, ride cymbals. Some might say this rocks, if only just a tiny bit, but those people would be fools. This is just groovy. By this point in the album I\u2019m feeling really like\u2026 I had no idea the record would sound anything like this. It\u2019s really nice. Very chill. I love the sudden pads. It\u2019s kind of like that feeling when you\u2019re lost in thought or daydreaming and then become self-aware and kind of shaken out of it, like if someone interrupts to ask you a meaningless question, like if you\u2019re alright or whatever. Space leads enter! Very nice\u2026 reminds me of maybe a Moog Satellite.<\/p>\n
\u2018Girls Against Sci-fi\u2019 brings in an organ, some fuzzy distorted rhythmic sounds that are far away and hard to make out. This is definitely\u2026 ugh, and I hate to use the word\u2026 quirky. I mean, it is, very\u2026 and in a great way. Is there a such thing as pizzicato dings? Because, I think I heard something like that. This is like finding an extra-terrestrial pig digging through your refrigerator and throwing assorted foods that would never work together into a blender and then mixing it all up and drinking it and then noticing you and being like, \u201cWant to watch tv?\u201d Then\u2026 the sound profile changes, as you grab your keys and get into your car to go find a slice of pizza.<\/p>\n
\u2018David Hamilton\u2019s Sisters\u2019 is dark, majestic acoustic work with sci-fi theremin sounds. It\u2019s really so nice! I think I love this track most\u2026 probably why it\u2019s so hard for me to write any more than this last line right here.<\/p>\n
A pied piper blows through a distorted wind in a vacuum on \u2018Drowning In A Sea Of Nu\u2019, which then unfolds into a strangely provocative bit of melodic ambient folk, like a pilgrimage in a blue forest covered in raspberries, in which dwell elves in paisley mythril and probably some other strange creatures who\u2019ve arrived on spaceships. This would be perfect for a magickal mood mixtape for coven rituals or something, or maybe just some good old-fashioned tantric sex.<\/p>\n
We rocking yet? Of course not! And now, we come to \u2018Double Female Connector\u2019, a sensual song for an rca input, perhaps? It\u2019s pretty, just like really this whole album has been so far. Then, a dark, distorted thud, some heavy guitar\u2026 shit, man, it sounds like it\u2019s gonna rock\u2026 what do we do!? I guess\u2026 it\u2019s not really, it just keeps sounding like it\u2019s about to\u2026 reverse-electric guitar leads\u2026 lots of crackles, inducing a very ticklish feeling, as acoustic harmonies float in.<\/p>\n
\u2018The Usual Effects Part.2? is pretty nice, lots of floating string brushes echoing into a chamber. I\u2019m loving the subtle, electronic flute sounds.<\/p>\n
Vocals? Hmm\u2026 that\u2019s new. Odd, for just the second-to-last piece! It\u2019s titled \u2018Fake Diamond Tears\u2019 and has dual vocal harmonies, a click-clock metronome, light piano. It\u2019s strange, because it sounds almost like American accented vocals!<\/p>\n
Last, we come to a piece titled \u2018Memories Of White Horses In The 70s\u2019 and right now I can tell you that I am dismayed, because the press release specifically cited memories of horses (colour undisclosed) in the 60s as a major influence here, and yet now we\u2019re talking about these white horses from the 70s, it\u2019s like, what the fuck man!? I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m supposed to take this, I feel like I\u2019ve gotta completely change gears, start all over again as far as how I approach this work. Especially because, this entire time, I\u2019ve been imagining yellowed slides depicting paint horses being walked through a pastoral setting by a naked hippie, and now I\u2019m just seeing\u2026 a technicolor Burt Reynolds on a white horse in a magazine ad for Marlboro cigarettes or something, it\u2019s just a total deal breaker. This is so Rotterdam, playing with your head like that. A real sucker punch at the end. Anyway, it still sounds nice. Acoustic guitars run and run with urgency carrying us harried passengers through glades at sunrise. Then, we halt, as a synthesizer squeals and neighs.<\/p>\n
Very nice to hear something like this! Very different\u2026 because, when I think of Rotterdam, for years the immediate effect for me was to hear those hoovers blasting away over some distorted 4\/4 Gabba House beat at 200 bpms. Now\u2026 I can think of the Wild Wild Ambient Boys, and their hardline stance about not rocking, and very pretty music. And, really, in 2014\u2026 that\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s really a great album that you should explore. I had originally hesitated hearing it, due to thinking it would probably be a long, minimal ambient work by two art school grads, but no\u2026 it\u2019s worth delving into for real. Very emotional stuff, and it\u2019s clear in listening that they put a lot of work into the sound and production.<\/p>\n
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